Sermon Title: - “Can Divorce Ever Be God’s Will?” - Pastor John
Grace and Peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
Martha went to her Pastor's office. She was having trouble. Her son's wife
had left him and run off with another man. Divorce had never touched her
family and she'd considered herself lucky. She talked with her misgivings
and her Pastor turned to the Bible, reading Matthew 5 from the Sermon on the
Mount. He was quoting Jesus, "If a man divorces his wife for any cause other
than unchastely, he involves her in adultery." Martha left the office
feeling better. At least, her son was living within the law. Her
daughter-in-law had been at fault.
Gina went into her Pastor's office. Her husband of twelve years was giving
her notice of divorce. He had never been baptized, he never would submit to
God's rule or to any other authority. Their marriage had been disastrous;
she could never get him to fully commit to her. Why he even had a private
savings account she'd discovered inadvertently that he'd been stashing money
in for years. There was little love any more, mostly habit and complacency.
She needed a word of grace though, from the Lord to free her from the guilt
she was feeling. Her Pastor opened the Bible and read from 1st Corinthians,
verse 7. St. Paul wrote, "If on the other hand a heathen partner wishes fo r
a divorce, let him have it. In such cases, the Christian husband or wife is
under no compulsion." Gina left the office feeling better. She already felt
like she had failed. At least God's Word brought her comfort.
Jim and Jane were in marriage counseling with their Pastor. They were very
different personality types and got married in the giddy 60's, without
benefit of pre-marital counseling. Now, 35 years later, children grown,
educated, and starting families on their own, the two were wondering if they
had enough to stay together. There was no third party; they just were not
very happy. But they were both sincere Christians who wanted to do what was
right. After a period of listening and counsel, their Pastor opened her
Bible and read from St. Mark the words of Jesus, "Whoever divorces his wife
and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her
husband and marries another, she commits adultery." Heari ng this, the two
decided to stay in counseling and try to work things out.
Three cases, three scripture passages applied to each case. We would all
like to have scripture speak with one voice about something as important as
marriage and divorce, but alas, in fact it does not. Even the words of Jesus
in the Gospel do not harmonize. So what are we as God's people to do?
The years since World War II have seen incredible social change. Many women
who had been stuck in bad marriages before the great war endured because
they had families and children and could not support them on their own.
Women now have more opportunities than ever before and have the security of
being wage earners. They can find a way out of the bad marriages their
grandmothers couldn't leave.
Men's & women's roles have changed dramatically since 1945. My Dad could
hardly boil water, much less wash clothes. Yet like most men my age, I cook,
wash, bake, and do homework. Our wives go on business trips leaving us to
keep dentist appointments and find babysitters on our own. In a period of
social change as sweeping as ours, it’s really a tribute to God's power that
the divorce rate isn't higher than it is.
Not only have the roles of women changed, but the extended family in the
United States has taken a hit too. Although many people are still born in
and died in the same town, the vast number move up to seven times in their
lives, and many of those change towns, counties, states, even countries. The
old sense of community we once enjoyed has been replaced by a new mobile
society where you know few, if any, of your neighbors.
All this change erodes the stability of families, and the old structure that
keeps people in line has given way to a new philosophy of marriage that is
based primarily on a quest for personal happiness and fulfillment.
Is it any wonder the divo rce rate is so high?. We should be surprised it
isn’t higher.
St. Paul counseled us to stay single because he was firmly convinced that
Jesus was coming back soon to bring in the new age. We have trouble
understanding this. But suppose you got the news that you had a fast-growing
form of cancer. Would you marry or start a family? No, the power of the
change that was coming would compel you not to make plans. St. Paul believed
there was no sense in marrying because the end of time was near. The
Shakers took his word literally in the last century. They soon died out. St.
Paul was wrong. While we should live our lives as though Jesus were coming
at any time, we also need to marry and be given in marriage.
Of course, God does not want us to divorce. Divorce is a result of sin. But
so is envy, jealousy, anger, and failure to forgive. We are sinful. All
flesh is. And as long as we are sinful, there is going to be incompatibility
and divorce. To say that there should be no divorce is like saying that
there should be perfect peace in families. Yet how many of us have seen
metaphorical divorce in the family? Brothers stop talking to sisters.
Sister-in-laws end up hating each other. Even parents who cut off their
children because they choose something or someone they don't approve of.
Of course, in the church, we would hope that people would keep their pledges
to life-long faithfulness. But people are sinful too.
A Christian marriage is marked by certain characteristics:
1. There should be self-sacrificing love present.
2. There should be respect for the other person present
3. The partners should be kind to one another and faithful
4. There should. be honesty and a spirit of forgiveness present.
5. Love of God should be central in the relationship.
If these qualities are not present, if one or the other of the partners
fails to keep their pledge and bond, then the marriage is over in some
respects anyway. If we could keep the law and obey God's will by ourselves,
we would need no Savior. But we can't obey God, and the forgiveness that
God gives us in Christ gives us a freedom to start again after sin has
destroyed a marriage. Marriage should be neither acrimonious nor
monotonous. It should be a life-giving union that gives perpetual
thanksgiving to the God in Christ who saved us. Amen
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